You Can Brush Your Teeth With Milkshakes

I've got to get this off my chest before I explode!

Just a few hours ago, a kid posted a simple question about gaining weight to a bodybuilding forum and received some typically bad advice on the topic commonly referred to as bulking.

Here's what one person said, "It takes a damn long time without eating junk. If you are willing to put the hours in the gym, then you should start stuffing your face with KFC and McDonalds, it's so much quicker."

No doubt about it … if you choose to workout and be healthy, you'll want to make the quickest decisions you can make even if you put your health at risk. Who wants to put in the time? (please note the sarcasm in my voice).

As if that advice wasn't bad enough, you'd think I'd just let bygones by bygones but when I saw another person follow up with this gem, I snapped …

"If a person is" underweight ", they should deny NOTHING and eat EVERYTHING .; McDonalds and KFC included."

I was reminded of the episode of the Simpsons where Homer is trying to gain weight to get to 300 lbs to qualify for disability so he can work in his house.

The advice "Dr. Nick" gives him:

"Instead of using bread, use Poptarts! Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon!"

Then Bart says, "You can brush your teeth with milkshakes!"

To which Dr. Nick replies, "Hey! Did you graduate from upstairs medical college too?"

His final thought is, "Remember, if you're not sure about a food, rub it on a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your" window "to weight gain!"

But just keep reading because it gets better. I watched in horror as bad advice was given out like giant candy bars at Halloween in a rich neighborhood. But better still …

These people tried to justify as to why a dirty bulk was the best option for gaining weight.

"Dirty Bulk is fine for a while. It's a fast and reasonable way to put on weight. Most people don't have time to plan their lives solely on bodybuilding. What is the point in clean bulking when dirty can get the job done a hell of a lot easier? Unhealthy? Who cares? This person will STOP eating junk when he gets serious about the sport. That is when the clean bulk / cutting game comes into play. "

And that's when I realized there are a heck of a lot of lazy bodybuilders out there.

Dirty bulking is a "cop out"! Stuffing your face with anything and everything is for people who don't know how to gain healthy weight and are too lazy to find out how to gain weight.

Characteristics of a Lazy Bodybuilder:

a) Can't wait for slow gains, will do anything and everything to get to some imaginary end point.

b) Doesn't plan out meals. Will eat whatever is in sight for calories. 5-6 meals a day? No time for that. I eat when I eat.

c) Believes a calorie is calorie. Doesn't matter if it's from an organic chicken breast or Chicken McNuggets.

d) Cupboards are bare but their gym bag is fully stocked with the latest and greatest weight gainers and supplements.

e) No time to learn the fine details of nutrition, just slam food down until things happen and then do some other things when you think you're fat.

f) Will do anything and everything to make this bodybuilding experience 'easier.'

For all these reasons, if you have been given this advice before, want to gain weight but are confused as to how to do it or you will sheepishly admit to falling into any of the AF descriptions above …

Source by Marc David

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